WILL IT EVER END !!!

It is very clear to me and my kids that daddy does not want anything to do with them.  Why can't he just pay his child support and leave us alone.  I know that not a nice thing to say but the hurt my kids have to deal with very Sunday they are so tired of being rejected by daddy and only seeing them when it is ok for him..I just wish the love I feel for him would go leave me stop tormenting me every minute of every day...I thought I had a helper to get him back but now I am wondering if it was all lies...she don't answer the phone or return messages...I just know in my heart that he still loves me just wish he would just ??? whatever !!!  I think this whole thing is stupid he should have fought harder for us I tried with everything I had to do that just could not handle the hurtful words and the way he made me feel like I was a parasite...Please dear lord help me !!!